2010/04/29 夢裡花落知多少

三毛：荷西在婚後的第六年離開了這個世界，走得突然，我們來不及告別。這樣也好，因為我們永遠不告別。
Echo: Jose left this world in the sixth year after we got married. It was such a sudden that we didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye. But maybe it’s good for us, since in this way, we never have to say goodbye to each other.



=================
記得當時年紀小
你愛談天我愛笑
有一回我們並肩坐在桃樹下
風在林梢鳥兒在叫
我們不知怎樣睡著了
夢裡花落知多少。

Remember when we were young,
you loved chatting and I was always smiling.
Once we were sitting shoulder to shoulder under a peach tree
There were breezes sweeping over the treetops and birds singing.
We slided into sleep.
without knowing how many blossoms have fallen in the dreams.

--三毛 《夢裡花落知多少》

2010/04/28

荷西：我知道你性情不好，心地却是很好的，吵架打架都可能发生，不过我们还是要结婚。
我想得很清楚，要留你在我身边，只有跟你结婚，要不然我的心永远不能减去这份痛楚的感觉，我们夏天结婚好吗？

就这句话，三毛看了十遍，然后去散了个步，回来就决定嫁给大胡子荷西。

三毛：如果有来生，你愿意再娶我吗？

荷西：不，我不要。如果有来生，我要活一个不一样的人生

三毛打荷西。

荷西：你也是这么想的，不是吗？

三毛看看荷西：还真是这么想的
既然下辈子不能在一起了，好好珍惜这辈子吧！

三毛：如果我死了，你一定要答应我，重新娶个女人。

荷西：你神经，不和你说话！

三毛：神经也要说，你不娶，我死了也不会安心的。

荷西：要是你死了我一把火把家烧掉，然后上船漂到老死。

三毛：放火烧房子也好，只要你肯再娶。

荷西：要到你很老我也很老，两个人都走不动也扶不动了，穿上干干净净的衣服，一齐躺在床上，闭上眼睛说：好吧！一齐去吧！

Jose: I know you don’t have a gentle temperament, but you have a good heart. Arguments and fights are likely to happen, but we are getting married anyway. I’ve thought it through. To marry you is the only way to keep you by my side. Otherwise, I can never get rid of the pain. Shall we get married in the summer?

Echo read it for ten times, then she took a walk. She decided to marry this bushy-bearded Jose after she got back.

Echo: If there was a next life, would you marry me again?

Jose: No, I wouldn’t. If there was a next life, I’d live a different life.

Echo hit Jose.

Jose: You think it that way too, don’t you?

Echo took a look at Jose and said: Yeah I do.
Since we couldn’t be together in the next life, let’s live it to the fullest in this one.

Echo: You have to promise me that if I died, you’d marry another woman.

Jose: You are nuts. I’m talking with you about that.

Echo: I’m still gonna say that. If you don’t, I wouldn’t feel at ease when I’m dead.

Jose: If you died, I’d burn the house and float in a boat on the water, till I die of old age.

Echo: It’s fine you’d burn the house. Just promise me you’d marry somebody.
Jose: When we are both really old and cannot walk, we’ll be dressed up neatly and lie in bed together, saying: alright, we’ll die together.

2010/04/27

荷西：Echo，你等我六年，我有四年大学要念，还有两年兵役要服，六年一过，我就娶你。
荷西：我的愿望是拥有一栋小小的公寓。我外出赚钱，Echo在家煮饭给我吃，这是我人生最快乐的事。
三毛：我们都还年轻，你也才高三，怎么就想结婚了呢？
荷西：我是碰到你之后才想结婚的。
荷西：你是不是一定要嫁个有钱人。
三毛：如果我不爱他，他是百万富翁我也不嫁，如果我爱他，他是千万富翁我也嫁。
荷西：。。。说来说去你还是要嫁有钱人。
三毛：也有例外的时候
荷西：如果跟我呢
三毛：那只要吃得饱的钱也算了
荷西思索了一下：你吃得多吗？
三毛十分小心的回答：不多，不多，以后还可以少吃点。
荷西：我们结婚吧
三毛：我的心已经碎了。
荷西：心碎了可以用胶水粘起来。

Jose: Echo, wait for me for six years. I’m going to spend four years in college and then serve in the military for two years. I’ll marry you in six years
Jose: I wish we’d own a small house. I’d be the bread-winner, and Echo would stay at home and cook for me. This would be the greatest happiness of my life.
Echo: We are still young. You are just a third-year student in senior high. How could you want to get married so badly?
Jose: I wanted to get married after I met you.
Jose: Are you sure you want to marry a rich guy?
Echo: If I don’t love him, I won’t marry him even though he’s a millionaire; but if I love him, I’ll still marry him if he’s a multi-millionaire.
Jose: sounds like you’re definitely gonna marry some rich guy.
Echo: Well, there are exceptions.
Jose: What about with me?
Echo: As long as you’ve got enough money to feed me.
Jose thought for a second: Do you eat a lot?
Echo answered very cautiously: no, no, not much. I can eat less in future.
Jose: Let’s get married.
Echo: My heart is broken.
Jose: We can glue the pieces together.

時代的韓寒，韓寒的時代

Tims's Han Han, Han Han's Time
By Zhang Tiezhi
http://udn.com/NEWS/OPINION/OPI4/5559448.shtml

He used to be a rebellious teenager in the literary world, a STAR writer or a representative of the ‘80s writers. He has handsome looks; and he is a professional car racer. But now, he has become the most influential speaker of public opinions in China, and a model citizen who dares to speak the truths. Recently, he has been elected by Times magazine as one of the 100 most influential people in the world.

He is 28 years old; his name is Han Han.

More than 300 million hits on his blog
Han Han published his first novel Triple Gate （三重门）when he was 18 and aroused a so-called ‘Han Han Phenomenon’. Till now, the racking up sales of the novel has reached 2 million. From then on, he has constantly published a number of best-seller books, and has made greatly disputed statements. He started his blog writing in 2006 commenting on various social phenomena. Hits on his blog posts easily exceed a million. Up till early April, his webpage had been viewed 346 million times, which makes it the most widely read one in China.

Why does Han Han has such a great influence? Surely, one reason is that his sarcastic language is agreeable with young people and the dominant tone of the internet age. Wrapped in the sarcastic language, he is not a nihilist; he asserts his own values. He questions the lie told by the government institutes and the mainstream media; he challenges the authorities; and he has sympathy for those people living at the bottom of society. For example, he would take a ironic tone saying:

‘I sincerely hope that the government would forget about the glory brought by GDP…reduce their pressure in life, protect them, shelter them, and let them live with the slightest sense of self-esteem. If you lose these obedient citizens in the hands of starvation, sickness, poverty, compulsion, poison, food, indignation, injustice, water-drinking or plain sleeping, where are you going to find any citizens who are more obedient than them?’

Unveiled lies are plain common knowledge
Therefore, he is considered as the truth-telling child in The Emperor’s New Clothes. In contemporary China where it is predominated by absurdity and hypocrisy, he speaks out people inner voices, which are not enlightening remarks, but merely common knowledge. However, common knowledge, especially the part about the relationship between citizens and government is exactly the sharp sword that cuts out the lies of the times. Moreover, when a great many other established writers are enjoying the benefits provided by the system and have lost their writer’s critical role, Han Han appears to be extremely rare.

‘You'd wonder why cannot China become a big cultural power? That’s because when most of us are speaking, the cadres always come first, and the cadres are lacking in culture. At the same time, they are those who are scared of culture and censor the culture. So how could such a nation possibly become a big cultural power?’

As to his nomination for the 100 most influential people by Times magazine, he dropped his sarcasm and took on a sense of being powerless and tragic: ‘I often ask myself, what contributions I have made to this society filled with ‘screened words’. Maybe in the end, I will have only contributed another screened word named after my own name.’ ‘In China, influence usually entails power. Only those people who have the real power to let you die, let you live or make you half dead are truly powerful people.’

Struggling to tear down the walls under the spotlights
The 1980s and 1990s after the Opening-up and Reforming policy in China was the age of enlightenment, during which academic intellectuals played an important role. At present, the enlightening role they assumed has been abdicating gradually. After all, Chinese citizens have become more and more aware of their rights; but the government is still oppressing them, and the politics is still ridiculous. Therefore, the key is to stand up and fight for rights, or speak out the basic ideas. Havel once said that under post-centralized system, the only right those powerless people have is living in truth. Han Han does exercise the weapon of the powerless. The following remarks make him deserve to be elected as one of the top 100:

‘We are just nobodies on stage under the spotlights, but the theatre is possessed by those real influential powerful people who get to decide to drop the curtain down, shut the lights, cut the electricity, close the door and unleash the dogs at any time; then things become normal again with no traceable hints on what’s just happened. I just wish that these people would do the right thing with their influences on other people; and every single one on stage and maybe even those who helped build the theatre would be able to gradually tear down the high-standing walls and light bulbs. So when sunshine spreads in, no one can never ever crush out the brightness.’

網絡時代的咖啡館情結

Café complex in the Internet age
By Lin Fen
http://www.nbweekly.com/Print/Article/7400_0.shtml

Loneliness makes people long for the unloneliness in form. Cafés and the internet happen to provide us with the unloneliness in form. Apprehensions cause people to establish a bottom line for their demands for privacy. In cafés, we sit next to each other; while on the Internet, we have different IDs. Consequently, cafés, the private space inlaid in public space, appear to be more charming and attractive than pure private space.

In an age where friends are able to learn about every move you make via Internet, by indulging yourself in cafés, you seem to have labeled yourself as the legacy from pre-electronic age.

In the fascinating and confusing place, you are likely to encounter three types of people: firstly, the Only-socializing kind. For them, cafés are only a public place where they can meet friends. And this public place they need could be cafés, movie theatres, restaurants, or Facebook or Second Life.

Another type is the Convenience-comes-foremost kind. They go to cafés for a convenient short break. Wisteria Hut isn’t any different from Starbucks. For this kind, they can buy high quality coffee beans and brew aromatic coffee for themselves at home.

The third kind is those who are obsessed with cafés. They love to meet their friends or take a break there. They also often come alone reading or writing. It seems that there is some kind of magic spreading in the air in the coffee houses. These people have a dedicate taste on coffee; they are picky about the tables and chairs, and the table ware; they are picky about the music, the color of the paint on the wall; even picky about a total stranger under the eaves. In other peoples’ impression, they are those petty bourgeois who don’t want to spend 800,000 HKD on a house, but who’d rather pay 80 HKD for a taste of bitterness.

Personally, I’m not obsessed with coffee, but now and then an upsurge of longing for coffee aroma would emerge in my blood. Therefore, I’m labeled as the third kind by my friends.

Among a number of different styles of cafés, those located in the airport don’t have the classy taste, but it’s where I can write most efficiently. Seeing those passengers drifting from place to place like I do, I have a strong sense of sympathy, which makes me feel calm and settled. What makes me so infatuated with such space?

Is it the legend depicted by Habermas? In the 18th century’s Europe, inequality of social status between people retreated in the space of salons, cafés and tea houses. Rational reasoning was the basis for discussions. That so-called ‘public space for bourgeois’ became a place where citizens could participate in political affairs, and a transitional region between public authorities and individuals’ personal territory. The scent of the ink and the disagreements among people led to establishment of literary and artistic, then political, common territory.

However, in Habermas’ portrait, democracy bred in this space wasn’t able to avoid the destiny of its deterioration during the age of mass media: rationality was buried by profits; criticism was replaced by consumerism. During the television age, the liveliness in cafés lost its missionary rosiness it had several centuries earlier. It simply became a commodity.

Up till the electronic age, people in cafés just take their own spots and mind their own businesses, or just chat with friends via Internet. This public space seems to be in harmony with the early legend, but they are at variance, not to mention the possibility that everyone entering the room has the ambition that this very cup of coffee may bear some connections with an enormous institutional transformation in the future. That only exists in fantasies.

In this case, what does this space mean to individuals in this Internet age? Are coffee aroma and the convenience for meeting friends enough to maintain the loyalty of the third kind of people? What is the individuals’ psychological basis for this café culture that has lasted for centuries?

First of all, it’s the sense of privacy hiding in public space. Many of our behaviors can be attributed to two basis sentiments—loneliness and apprehension. Loneliness makes people long for the unloneliness in form. Cafés and the internet happen to provide us with the unloneliness in form. Apprehensions cause people to establish a bottom line for their demands for privacy. In cafés, we sit next to each other; while on the Internet, we have different IDs.

More importantly, in here, it’s possible that the boundary between public and private space can be pushed back and forth. You may see familiar strangers in a coffee house, just like I suddenly catch sight of half of a face with a déjà vu experience—it’s a playwright known as the wizard. I have read his writing, but never met him in person. Similarly, a unfamiliar ID may pop onto your computer screen and makes your thoughts wonder, but you still have the liberty to respond to it or not.

That kind of quick change in boundary makes the private space inlaid in public space more attractive and charm than pure private space. And this charm is rooted in the potential tension of one’s self-awareness. There are two parts of individuals’ self-awareness. One is the awareness of ‘who am I’, which focuses on the self in private space; the other is the awareness of ‘who should I be’ in other people’s perceptions, which concerns the self in public space. In self-awareness, the self and the alter ego don’t only co-exist, they might be conflicting with each other sometimes, which leads to our dependence on the space where the self and the alter ego can be tolerated, such as cafés and the Internet. It also influence the way we behave within that space.

Surely, the prerequisite for the charm is that the alteration between public and private space is not compelled by force. Therefore, either in cafés or on the Internet, individuals’ behaviors should be constrained by relevant law and regulations. Leisure centers are another example of voluntary alteration between public and private space. In there, a group of men and women, old or young, are dressed in pajamas in the same style and are arranged into the same look. In this kind of space, private space is publicized. The discrepancies in wealth, sex and skin color are simplified into the difference between blue color and red color. Maybe just because the external discrepancies are artificially eliminated, this place can truly become a space for leisure and relaxation.

To be concise, this psychological basis underlines the café complex; it also constructs the psychological basis of the Internet-oriented people. Convenient and fast technology can move real public space into a virtual world, and is able to reduce the rosy café culture into bare consumerism. However, what technology hasn’t changed, or what it’s unable to change, is the balance between the self and the alter ego hidden in every moment of daily life; is the non-stoppable tangling between public and private space in different forms; is the confrontation between individuals and the masses in every revolutionary age.

It’s true during the modernization process; it’s true during the globalization proceedings. It’s true for each individual; it’s true for every nation.

要么杂种、要么绝种，没有纯种

http://www.my1510.cn/article.php?id=21c36aed00d54eb5

Hybrid or dead, no purebred

China’s State Administration for Radio, Film and Television (SARFT) has issued a set of regulations that prohibits the use of English initials. Their motives are not specified, but they have plenty of reasons, one of which is said to defend the purity of the Chinese language.

The attempt to defend the purity of a language is absolutely a stupid idea, and it’s not going to succeed anyway. Just like attempting to defend the women’s virginity, if the women of a nation all stayed as virgins, the nation would become extinct.

Hybrid vigor exists in biology. Same with a language. English, the most powerful language in the world, is said to come up with thousands of new words every year. The English language is screwed up by English speaking countries all over the world. However, just because of the ‘mating’, it’s become the most powerful language.

If the language of a nation becomes more and more impure, it just suggests that it’s becoming increasingly more powerful, which is an excellent thing one would wish for. If there were a SARFT in the UK, they wouldn’t be stupid enough to issue a regulation to forbid the use of English initials.

Vitality is dependent on hybrid. In this world, it’s either hybrid, or dead, never purebred.

People in China start learning English since they kindergarten. Up till graduation from college, English learning lasts for ten to twenty years. Why would you learn it if you don’t use it at all? After the opening-up and reform, along with the increasingly wider and deeper economical and cultural exchange, the chances for Chinese people to use English has been increasing as well. More and more English expressions have been integrated into the Chinese language. They’ve become conventional, and impossible to tear apart. Moreover, it is concise, convenient and fast to use English initials. What’s not good about it anyway?

Regarding the language inclusion of Chinese and English, some people are unhappy about it; some just fail to understand it. But we cannot cruelly deprive people of their rights to use English or English initials just because some people are unhappy about it or some people cannot understand it.

Being unhappy is just a personal feeling. I have nothing to say about it but being respectful. Let’s just take a look at the part of failing to understand:
As we all know, the majority of English initials are technical terms. Even though we transform those terms into Chinese, laymen still cannot understand them. For example, ‘HTTP’ means Hyper Text Transfer Protocol, ‘USB’ stands for Universal Serial BUS. May I ask, do non-professionals of computer sciences have the slightest idea about what they mean? Even though those terms are translated into Chinese, people still don’t understand them. What’s the point to forbid the use of English initials? Why don’t we just let those who understand English initials use them for free expressions?

Anyway, SARFT’s restrictions on the use of English initials may yield some results in a short term, but it won’t be effective in the long run. Such a thing as language is impossible to restrict. No force can prevent the tendency of the Chinese language integrating with foreign languages.

Because we live in an era of global integration.

In this era, different races, cultures, political systems, legal systems, customs, daily lives from all over the world, all aspects of human life, are seeking mutual acceptance and approaching Great Harmony. How can language possibly become an exception?

Before Sunset review-A moment or a lifetime

The original article is published here: http://movie.douban.com/review/1463448/.
I'm just bored so that want to find something to do to kill time.

A moment, or a lifetime?

Foreword: Life is never perfect, but there are definitely wonderful moments and happiness. At least it’s true in this film. For me, it’s already a perfect dream. Everything could be foreseen, yet every single detail is out of expectation. It’s true that we all suffer from the pains that we can never run away from; and we are not able to escape from the contradiction between reality and love. However, passion and despair grow stronger along with each other. If there is this heartbeat and heartbreak in your life that you find impossible to escape from, then I am so jealous of you.
I read a review on the homepage yesterday, and I don’t like it at all. The author believed this is a tragedy, which made me bound to say something now, and I have to speak out now. This is not criticism, since there is no right and wrong. It’s just a matter of individuals’ attitudes toward life.

She says: After indulging in such an intoxicating love affair, one would become hollow inside, like a wandering spirit and a walking dead body.

But I believe that an impressive love affair won’t make you hollow, it completely converts you into a different person. The eye contact, the intimacy between two people in love, and spiritual communication, and meeting and knowing each other with the integration in body and mind, no matter how long they last, they are to become part of your memory long enough. And I do believe that if they are profound enough, they’d last for as long as a lifetime.

So, during the nine years they were apart, there were a lot going on in both their lives, but they are still passionate about life and longing for love. The world was a mess, and Celine didn’t believe it’s getting any better. But she got inspired by a cat every single day, and was able to see life from a different perspective. Jessie got married without muddleheadedly and had been trapped in a bland swirl and couldn’t get out. But when he saw his daughter, he was willing to give anything it takes. When they faced each other again, there were more grudges lying between them, so many that they had to cover it up by denying the night they spent together. But finally, Celine abreacted her indignation, so powerful yet at the same time so vulnerable. Jessie looked at her powerlessly, telling her about his dreams; Celine stretched out her hand attempting to touch him, just like the morning nine years ago. The sparkles, yes I saw sparkles again. Nine years later, they still melted away in their embraces.

She says: why did they choose to start it knowing it would end up in pain?

Painful. Yes, it’s the essence of life.
Prices. Yes, no pains, no gains.

But so what? Is there anyone who was happy once hasn’t tasted the heartfelt pains? To live, you cannot always run away from pains.

What I’m trying to say is that if we run away, we wouldn’t be able to love again. For me, if there is no love, there is no happiness. If you chose not re-climb the mountain just because you fell from the hillside, you would miss out the fun on the trip and the pleasure when reaching the top.

What we should do is ascend, get down, and ascend again.

Perfection is illusionary, just like Jessie’s life. There was a powerless dream hidden there, where he couldn’t seize the one he loved.

Perfection implies the loss of driving forces and passions. How can it be perfect when you’ve lost something? Reality has said it out loud, that they are all illusionary, don’t buy it. It’s just the integration of what happened.

Maybe they would part again, with the beautiful memories about each other and go back to their life track; maybe, they would stay together without giving a damn to the consequences and then life would become plain for them and may ultimately part again, or maybe something else would happen to them.

Anyway, if there is such a person in my life, such a person in the world, with whom I can share secrecy, and if there has been some romantic affair between us, and every countenance of him is so real, then I’d give up anything for it, no matter what it takes. Besides, fuck perfection.

Treasure your pains

像韩寒那样珍惜你的痛感
Treasure your pains as Han Han does

by commentator Xiao Shu

韩寒已经是美国 《时代》周刊2010年 “全球最具影响力人物”的候选人，而且在200名候选人中名列前茅。
Han Han is now one of the candidates for Times magazine’s ‘most influential people in the world’, and he is now coming out on top among all 200 candidates.

人们开始争论：可不可以说，韩寒已具有全球影响力？这个争论并没有意义。最需要韩寒的不是国际社会，而是他的同胞。所以，韩寒最需要的不是什么全球影响力，而是在中国的影响力。
People start discussing: can we say that Han Han has gained international influence? This discussion actually makes not much sense. The one who needs Han Han most is not the international community, but his fellow citizens. Thus, what he needs is not the so-called international influence, but the very influence he has in China.

就在前几天，广西合浦发生一起惨案，凶手在小学放学途中追杀妇孺，致二死五伤。
Several days ago, a tragic murder case happened in Hepu, Guangxi Province, where the murderer chased after children and women around a primary school right after the students were being dismissed, leaving two dead and five injured.

而在合浦惨案之前，福建刚刚发生郑民生凶杀案。郑民生这个恶魔，仅仅因为所谓不满现实，就计划要杀掉三十多个孩子来报复社会。虽未完全得手，但仍有八个可怜的孩子死在他的刀下。
And right before the Hepu case, another murder case just happened in Fujian Province. Ferocious Zheng Minsheng planned to kill more than 30 children to take revenge against the society only because he was unsatisfied with the reality. He didn’t accomplish his whole plan, but two innocent poor kids went dead under his blade.

孩子是一个民族的未来，应该受到最严格的保护。但在我们的社会中，恰恰是孩子最受伤。被问题疫苗伤害的主要是孩子，被问题奶粉伤害的主要是孩子，被豆腐渣建筑伤害的主要是孩子。现在，歹徒报复社会的对象竟然也主要是孩子。有人说郑民生有精神病；合浦惨案后，地方当局也说凶手有精神病。其实受伤孩子那么多，有病的何止一两个凶手。
Children are the future of a nation, and they deserve to be rigorously protected. However, in our society, children tend to get hurt more often. In the defective vaccine case, in the milk powder and in the shoddy construction case, children are the ones that take most of the consequences. Now, children have even become the major sufferers of the outlaws’ revenge against society. Some say Zheng Minsheng is a psycho; in the Hepu murder case, local authority claimed that the criminal had mental disorders. There have been so many kids getting hurt, and the number of psychopaths is far more than two.

不错，我们的国家依然强大，而且越来越强大。但国家强大不是万应灵药。现在就一方面是经济总量在不断增长；但另一方面，社会溃烂的势头仍难遏制，以致孩子成了受害者，以致外媒都在惊呼：社会转型不要以孩子为代价。
It’s true that our nation is still powerful, as a matter of fact, it’s becoming increasingly more powerful. But the power a nation has is not a panacea. On one hand, our GDP has been constantly increasing; while on the other hand, the tendency of social deterioration stays difficult to fight against, and consequently, so many children have become its victims that foreign media are exclaiming: don’t proceed social transition at the expense of children’s benefit.

所以韩寒在中国的影响力才最重要。这是因为，我们不仅需要国家的强大，我们还需要——甚至更需要——公民社会。而韩寒则是公民标本。
It makes significant Han Han’s domestic influence. It’s because that what we need is not only the mightiness of our country, but also a civil society—maybe we need this more than the other. And Han Han is a civil model.

韩寒现在的地位无疑蒸蒸日上。但也有人不服气：韩寒有什么了不起？深刻不如鲁迅，智慧不如胡适，高尚不如德兰修女，壮烈不如林昭、张志新。的确，相比于中外先贤，韩寒太普通了，普通得跟我们每个人几乎一模一样。但这才是韩寒最有力量的地方，他越是普通，他就越有普遍性，就越是可以推广。他具备的很多元素，的确都平常，的确我们都具备。说到底他无非比我们多了一样东西，那就是公民的气质，那就是率性，那就是真实。
There is no doubt that Han Han’s status has been rising. But some people are not convinced: what’s good of him? He is not thinking as profoundly as Lu Xun, not as wise as Hu Shi, not as noble as Mother Teresa, and not as brave and honorable as Lin Zhan and Zhang Zhixin. Indeed, compared with sages of the past all over the world, Han Han is way too ordinary, almost as ordinary as every single one of us. However, this is exactly where his power lies. The more ordinary he seems, the more commonality he stands for, and the more applicable he is. Many elements he possesses are indeed quite common, and we are all equipped with those elements. After all, he has only one more quality than us—the civil temperament. It’s natural disposition and staying real.

正是率性而真实的公民气质，使韩寒能够自由言说，说出自己在这个社会中的痛感。这痛感犹如盐，不需太多，就那么一点点，他的境界就跟我们迥然不同了。他自由地言说，爱他所爱，恨他所恨，但是有代价吗？有不能承受之重吗？没有。这说明无奈无论怎样深重，也没到我们想象的程度，我们不必自己吓自己。
It’s just the natural and real civil temperament of him that makes him able to speak freely, to speak out his pains in this society. The pain is like salt, which we don’t need a lot, but just a bit of it makes him reach a higher level than us. He speaks what he wants to speak, loves what he loves, hate what he hates, but is there any price he has to pay? Is there any unbearable weight he has to carry? No. It’s telling us that no matter how intolerable it is, it’s not reached the level we imagine, and we don’t have to scared.

看看韩寒，多爽朗，多快乐，多阳光。他说出他的痛感，但他无须浸淫在悲苦之中，无须那么愁云惨淡。病往往都是憋出来的，韩寒不憋，韩寒不委屈自己，他说出来了，说出来他就得救了，他就有尊严了，他就健康了。就可以作为一个正常人，享受他的尊严，享受他的健康，享受他的正常的生活了。
Look at him. How cheerful, joyful and bright. He tells his pains, but he doesn’t have to be immerged in the sorrow and pain; he doesn’t have to be miserable. Sickness usually comes from holding back the feelings. Han Han doesn’t hold his feelings back; he doesn’t suppress his feelings; he speaks it out. And he is rescued; he defends his dignity; he is healthy. He is able to enjoy his dignity, his healthiness and his normal life, as a normal person would do.

这正是公民社会的旨趣所在。它不是要对抗什么，不是要反叛什么，不是要颠覆什么。它不过是一个一个人的自我救治，不过是一个一个社会细胞的自我修复。不是外科切除，而是精确改良，微观演进，用新生命的生长遏制社会的溃烂。这之于我们可能是最现实也最可行的选择。先贤对我们来说固然重要，他们昭示着人类可能达到的精神高度。但先贤跟我们实在落差太大，我们往往没有献身的勇气，心向往而实不能至。但没关系，韩寒就在我们眼前，我们学韩寒就可以了。韩寒无非比我们高出半个头，至多一个头。我们使劲往上跳一跳，甚至只需要踮踮脚尖，也能达到跟他一样的高度。那么，我们何乐不为？
That is exactly where the purpose and joy of a civil society lie. It’s not about fighting against something, not about being rebellious of something, and not about subverting something. It’s merely self-salvation of every single person, and self-healing of every single social cell. It’s not surgical excision, but precise modification and micro-evolution; it’s about constraining social damages with the growing new life. For us, it’s probably the most realistic and feasible option. Sages of the past are certainly important to us, since they made clear to us the spiritual level human kind can possibly reach. But they are too distant from us, and we usually don’t have the courage to devote ourselves into the undertakings, so we cannot reach their level even thought we yearn for it. But the good thing is, Han Han is right in sight. We can easily learn something from him. He may be just one step ahead of us, two steps at most. We could catch up with him by simply taking a leap. Why not give it a try?

像韩寒那样，珍惜你的痛感，珍惜你喊痛的权利，使韩寒成为潮流，成为时尚。如此，我们的社会才没有那么多丧心病狂的精神病杀手，我们才救得了孩子，救得了我们自己。
Treasure your pains like Han Han does with his. Treasure your rights to cry out of your pains, and see Han Han as a trend and fashion. In this way, we won’t have as many lunatic psychopath killers in the society. Only in this way, we can save the children, and ourselves.

South Weekend
Link: http://www.infzm.com/content/43823

Killing time

There hasn't been much going on since I came back to Beijing. I just stayed in for most of the time editing my thesis, but more time is being spent in killing time because I hate to take another look at it.

It's funny that I missed Beijing, missed the friends, the acquaintances, the dry climate, the smell of Beijing and even the sand storm in spring, sooooo much when I was in Nanjing. I guess the things I missed most are just the feeling that you have control of your own life. And now I feel I have lost it again.

A blog article of Han Han

散文一篇
An essay

在昨天，我看到了一条新闻，新闻说我候选了时代周刊的两百个影响全球的人物，中国同时入选的还有敏感词，敏感词和敏感词等人。当时我正在我们村里挖笋（我挖的是自己家的），没怎么注意，后来回去一看手机上有不少的短信，问我对此事的态度，我只回复了新京报和南都的两位朋友，其他媒体写的均为凭着对我性格的猜测下的友好想象。我没有想到大家还比较关心，在这里我就做一个统一的回复。
Yesterday, I say a piece of news saying that I was nominated as one of the 200 [it’s in fact 100]most influential people in the world by Time magazine. [http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1972075_1972078_1972568,00.html]Other Chinese nominees included ‘screened word’, ‘screened word’ and ‘screened word’. I was digging bamboo shoots in our village then (and I digged my own bamboo shoots) and did not pay much attention. When I got back home, I found quite a number of text messages asking for my attitudes toward this matter. I only replied two [journalist] friends from The Beijing News and Southern Metropolis Weekly; any articles published on other media are merely friendly impressions based on their hypothesis about my characters. I did not expect such attentions from the mass public, but I’ll make an integrated response here.

首先，我非常感叹和惋惜，为什么别人有这样的新闻媒体，当时代周刊弄一个人物榜的评选的时候，能够让全世界其他的国家都起波澜。我多么渴望我们中国也能有类似的一个新闻媒体，当他评选人物的时候，在全世界也引起关注。我们不能说这样的一个媒体完全公正，但是它是有完全的公信力的，我多么渴望我们国家也有。可惜我们并没有。不是说我们的媒体人要比其他地方的媒体人差，而是因为一些……原因，这些原因众所周知，点到为止，多说必死，死后鞭尸。

First of all, I’m overwhelmed by exclamations and shames. Why could such a news media like Time magazine exist in other countries that it produces ripples in every other country all over the world when a Top People vote is initiated. I’m dying to see a similar news media in China when it starts a Top People vote, the whole world would pay attention. We cannot say such a media is absolutely impartial, but it has total public credibility. I anxiously hope that we have such a media in China, but unfortunately, we don’t. I doesn’t mean our media people are not as qualified as those in other countries. There are certain reasons, which are known to all. I’m not digging up on it here. Otherwise it’ll bring me tons of trouble.

我经常自问自己，我为这个充满着敏感词的社会做出了什么贡献，可能到最后我只贡献了一个以我的名字命名的敏感词而已。我天天睡到中午，经常浪费钱买数码产品，还挑食，但好在我也未曾给这个社会增加罪孽和负担，至少迄今为止是这样。我没有辽阔的远见，我唯独只想让相关部门善待文艺和新闻，不要给他们过多的审查以及限制，不要用政府的权利和国家名义去封杀或者污蔑任何一个文艺工作者和新闻从业者，这样的话，不用你们花大价钱，这个国家会自动生产出输出到西方世界的文艺作品和新闻媒体，我们的每一个小小的读者听众观众网民市民国民都能同享荣光。我未必有天赋和能力写出好的东西，但是别人有，但你不要阉人有[又]夸人无。

I often ask myself, what have I contributed to this society filled with ‘screened words’? Maybe ultimately just another screened word consisting of my very own name. Every single day, I sleep till noon; I often wasted money on digital products; I am a picky eater. But fortunately I haven’t brought extra sins and burdens to this society; at least it’s the case so far. I don’t have wide-scale insights; I just hope that those authorities concerned could treat literature and art and news with mercy, instead of imposing excessive censorship and restrictions on them, or forcing out or slandering any literature/art worker or media worker in the name of the government authority or the nation. If so, this country would automatically generate literary/art works and news media that would get exported to western world without the expensive nurturing from the government. And as a result, every single reader, listener, audience, netizen, city resident and citizen can share the glory. I may not necessarily be very talented and competent to write brilliant stuff, but other people are. So don’t you emasculate them and boast of their non-existence. [I cannot do the irony here]


电话里记者问我，有一些地方还说你和西方反华势力勾结，我说这个很正常，人家这招用了六十年了，前几十年还有发自内心的，后几十年纯粹是用于泼脏水了。我一个要去西方国家比赛经常因为材料不够齐而差点签证都办不出来的人，还西方势力呢，况且都什么年代了，还勾结不勾结的，这词说出去多难听啊。相信如果有哪位朋友天天监听着我的电话的话，您一定很清楚我究竟是一个怎么样的人，您说呢，电脑前一定会有一位朋友会心一笑的。但我只是奇怪，这些御用笔杆子，怎么几十年都用一个体位，他不烦，对象都烦了。但是，我坚决赞同他们的存在，因为总有正方和反方，总有甲方和乙方，如果我们国家能做到话不投机一拍两散，而不是话不投机把你封杀，那就是我们国家的巨大进步，我们也将为此而努力。

Some journalist said on the phone: some [from government authorities?] say that you are ganging up with western anti-China forces. I replied that it is pretty common. They have used this trick for sixty years. It was authentic during the first several decades; but during the last few decades, it’s purely slandering. I used to fail to get visas because of missing of certain documents when I was planning to attend car racing games in western countries; what’s with the ganging up? Besides, why are we still talking about ganging up with people during this modern age? The phrase is such an eye sore. I believe if there is a friend tapping into my phone calls on a daily base, they must know what kind of people I am, what do you think? There must be a friend smiling with understanding in front of the computer screen. But I’m just curious, those kept writers have been using one body position for decades; even though they are not fed up with it, the objects are. However, I’m totally in favor of their existence, since affirmative/negative sides and Party A/B always exist co-dependently. When under the circumstance of disagreements, if our nation is capable of tolerating them taking separating paths instead of forcing the other side out, then it’s a great step forward. We will be making great efforts on it as well.

后来他又发短信问我，那么换句话说，你这个人的观点和言论符合了西方人的价值观，你觉得是么？

Later on, he texted me again and asked: in other words, your personal opinions and statements are in accordance with western values, do you think so?
我回消息说，难道不符合中国人的价值观么？
I replied: Are they not in accordance with Chinese values?

我相信地球人和外星人也许价值观不一样，但是西方人和东方人，除了生活习惯不一样以外，价值观应该是差不多的，为何一定要争呢。

I believe that earthmen aliens may have different values, but except for life habits, western and oriental people have similar values. Why do we have to alienate us from one another?

最后说回到所谓的影响力，我经常非常的惭愧，我只是一介书生，也许我的文章让人解气，但除此以外又有什么呢，那虚无缥缈的影响力？在中国，影响力往往就是权力，那些翻云覆雨手，那些让你死，让你活，让你不死不活的人，他们才是真正有影响力的人。但是不知道是因为他们怕搜呢还是不经搜，往往在搜索引擎上还搜不到他们。我们只是站在这个舞台上被灯光照着的小人物。但是这个剧场归他们所有，他们可以随时让这个舞台落下帷幕，熄灭灯光，切断电闸，关门放狗，最后狗过天晴，一切都无迹可寻。我只是希望这些人，真正的善待自己的影响力，而我们每一个舞台上的人，甚至能有当年建造这个剧场的人，争取把四面的高墙和灯泡都慢慢拆除，当阳光洒进来的时候，那种光明，将再也没有人能摁灭。

Finally, back to the so called influence issue. I often feel ashamed. I’m just a writer. Maybe what I write is sympathetic to many readers and speaks out their rages, but what else can I do? The visionary ‘influence’ I have? In China, influences are usually realized by power. The real influential people are those almighty hands, those people who have a say on your destiny. But I’m not sure if they are afraid to be searched online or just cannot stand up to be searched online, you cannot get any results on the search engines. We are just nobodies on stage under the spotlights, but the theatre is possessed by those real influential powerful people who get to decide to drop the curtain down, shut the lights, cut the electricity, close the door and unleash the dogs at any time; then things become normal again with no traceable hints on what’s just happened. I just wish that these people would do the right thing with their influences on other people; and every single one on stage and maybe even those who helped build the theatre would be able to gradually tear down the high-standing walls and light bulbs. So when sunshine spreads in, no one can never ever crush out the brightness.

PERSONAL STATEMENT in 2007 spring

This is the personal statement I wrote when applying for grad school in 2007 spring. Moira did me a favor and edited it, so it sounds much better and native-like. Ivy is writing a PS for her interview, so I dig it out.

I found myself very logical when writing in English (probably also logican in Chinese, but the problem with Chinese writing is that it's very vague and void of matter, which sometimes makes it easier to get through when you don't have a clear idea about what to say).
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I've been interested in English since I first started studying it in primary school. Initially, English was just a subject in class that I wanted to succeed in, but I always thought that being able to speak a foreign language fluently would be an admirable thing. Gradually, as I became familiar with the various aspects and unique characteristics of this language, I fell in love with it.

In high school, I started to read more and more literary works in English and the elegance of the language captured my heart. China is a country with a long history and a large number of great literary works, but the things I read in English gave me a chance to see beautiful writing from a different point of view.

As a result, I deeply want to share my passion for the English language and to help others understand it. The best way to realize this dream is to become a teacher of English. As a teacher, I can function as a medium between two different languages and cultures.
Differences in geographical conditions and resources have shaped the diversity of cultures and civilizations around the world. While beautiful, this diversity has also become a hindrance for people from different cultures to understand each other. Today, the world needs people who can help to diminish these barriers of language and culture. I want to be someone who can open the English-speaking world to Chinese students, so that one day these students can also share the treasures of their Chinese language and heritage with the English-speaking world.
Truly understanding a language not only requires one to be able to use it freely, but also requires understanding the system of the language and the way the language is structured. Therefore, a good teacher should have a solid mastery of knowledge in linguistics and language systems. If a teacher lacks this knowledge, they are bound to fail in training their students how to recognize patterns and interpret the meanings of texts in a foreign language. As an undergraduate, I still have a long way to go, but I have enjoyed my language studies so far, and am eager to further my knowledge of language teaching and learning.

Experience can be extremely important for a teacher. This includes both life experience as well as the skills and training needed to effectively handle a class. From the student's point of view, I know that a teacher with rich life experience tends to be more attractive. Knowledge and degrees are important, but they are not the only factors that make a good teacher. A teacher may be taken by the students as a role model if their life experiences sound interesting and inspiring. Therefore, I am always trying to challenge myself to take on activities that will enrich my experience.

In the Foreign Language Department of China University of Geosciences, the English students produce a magazine called “English Space”. Although I am not the founder of this magazine, I am always proud to tell others about it, because I have devoted much of my enthusiasm and energy to its publication. Working up from a beginner to the Chief Editor of the Culture section, I have benefited a lot from the magazine. In our group, there are frequently conflicting ideas and opinions, just like in any other group in the world. However, I have learned how to communicate and cooperate with the other members. Knowing how it felt to be a beginner at "English Space" helped me to become a better teacher when, as a third year student, it came time for me to train the new staff. I learned that the gradual accumulation of ideas and skills is needed in order to achieve a successful output. Working at "English Space" gave me a chance to see how teaching really works.

This past semester, I had an opportunity to volunteer as an English teacher at the Fenghua Aixin Hope Primary School in Beijing. This experience allowed me to have the first taste of a teacher’s job---bitter and sweet. Fenghua is a primary school for migrant kids, whose parents come to Beijing to make a living from other rural areas in China. I loved going through the school gate and being surrounded by so many happy little kids every week; but sometimes, teaching there also made me feel disappointed.

It’s not difficult to imagine that most of their parents are uneducated farmers from remote areas, hoping to earn a living in the capital city. Although the kids are at school, they do not get good moral education from anyone. They do not show any respect for their classmates and teachers, and I, standing in the shady classroom, could do nothing to change this. Since I only taught them once a week, I knew that I could not have much positive influence on them. Sometimes, I asked myself: “Would I be able to change the way they behave if I spent a lot more time with them?” Maybe I could. Maybe I still wouldn't make a big difference. Maybe the only thing I want to teach them is how to show respect for each other.

Through the teaching process, I have gained a lot of joy from being with the kids. Also, I have seen many interesting behaviors of children in and out of class. Their concentration span is short, and they can be very easily distracted by some small items, such as a pencil sharpener, an eraser, or even my watch. It is both challenging and fun to deal with them, but I need more skills and teaching theory to manage the class well. My experience at Fenghua school has made me even more eager to continue my studies in language learning and teaching theory and practice.

The purpose of education is not only to teach English or science, but also to teach students how to behave morally as human beings. Since I was a little girl, I have admired my father as a teacher who gives both moral and academic knowledge to his students. In order to follow his example as a teacher who combines wisdom and experience with theoretical training, I want to continue my graduate studies in teaching at Beijing Normal University.

My desire to be a qualified teacher has encouraged me to persevere through the long process of preparing for the graduate examination. And now, I am so glad that I can take part in the secondary examination, which at least means that I am one step closer to my dream. Through the years in college, I have gotten good grades and scholarships, which makes me confident that I have potential to become a more knowledgeable person and an excellent teacher. I truly hope that I will be admitted to Beijing Normal University so that I can achieve my dream of following in my father's steps and making a lasting contribution to the mutual understanding between two distant cultures.